


Hash and Eggs

by CokeZero



Series: My Albums A-Z [12]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Drunk Shane Madej, M/M, Meet-Ugly, They're college aged but it's not really mentioned but, like really ugly, pretty graphic description of throwing up, ryan hates his job, ryan is a nice person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 06:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14278692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CokeZero/pseuds/CokeZero
Summary: Shane is drunk and really wants to eat Hash and Eggs.Ryan works at IHOP.An unlikely relationship is born.





	Hash and Eggs

Album: City Life by The Blackbyrds

Song: Hash and Eggs

 

_hash and eggs_

_hash and eggs_

_hash and eggs_

_hash and eggs_

_owww_

_over easy_

_if you please_

_over easy_

 

* * *

 

 

Most of the time Ryan liked his part time job at IHOP. His Saturday night 8pm to 2am shifts made him want to walk out and flip off every coworker and customer. 

 

“Please can I have some eggs?” A tall man slurred as he walked inside. 

 

Ryan glanced at the clock, happy it was 1:15. He’d only have to deal with this oaf for forty-five minutes. 

 

“Lemme get you a table,” he grabbed a menu and led him slowly through the dining room to a table meant for two people. He set the menu in front of him. 

 

“No thank you,” he pushed the menu away, looking up at Ryan with wide eyes. “Just hash and eggs. I know what I want. Hash and eggs. Over easy.”

 

He chuckled and shook his head as he wrote it down. He saw four types of drunks at his job. Mean, sleepy, flirty, and the people who repeated everything. He suspected they forgot they had already said something and felt the need to get it out. 

 

“Anything to drink?”

 

“Hash and eggs,” he squinted his eyes and looked at Ryan’s name tag. “Bryan.”

 

“It’s Ryan actually,” he said as he took the menu. 

 

“No, my name’s Shane, not Ryan,” he grabbed the edge of the menu. “Did I tell you I want-“

 

“Hash and eggs, I’ve got it Shane.”

 

“Thanks, Bryan.”

 

He chuckled as he went to the kitchen and put in the order. He filled up a glass of water and set it in front of Shane. He hadn’t asked for it but it was obvious he could use it. 

 

“Agua!” Shane cheered before drinking at least half the glass at once. 

 

Ryan went and checked on the other diners, always keeping an eye on Shane to make sure he was okay. He wondered how he managed to arrive in the state he was in and wondered if he would get home safe. He shook his head, reminding himself Shane was an adult and could make his own choices. 

 

But he still worried. 

 

He set the plate of hash and eggs in front of Shane a few minutes later. “Do you need anything else?”

 

He shook his head, mouth already full of a huge bite of the food. 

 

Ryan nodded and went to run a few more orders. 

 

When he had given everyone their food he glanced over at Shane. 

 

The chair was empty. 

 

He went over quickly, his first thought that Shane had dined and dashed. 

 

When he got closer he saw the man in a lump under the table. He squatted down and gently shook him awake. 

 

“Shane, Shane wake up.”

 

His eyes slowly opened, taking a moment to focus. “Did I fall?”

 

“I think you did,” he glanced up at the clock again and saw it was just after 2. “Do you have any friends you can call?”

 

“Lost my phone.”

 

Ryan sighed and shook his head. “Would you be comfortable with me driving you home?”

 

Shane nodded, his face turning sad. “I didn’t finish my hash.”

 

“I’ll box it for you.” Shane handed him a ten dollar bill to cover the meal. He took it then went in the back, grabbed a box, and clocked out, waving at the person taking over his shift. 

 

He boxed up Shane’s food then squatted back down. “Think you can stand up?” 

 

He nodded and crawled out from under the table then slowly stood up, swaying side to side as he attempted to find his balance. He smiled at Ryan when he got steady and flashed a thumbs up. 

 

“Come on,” Ryan grabbed his food and lead Shane outside, making sure he stayed steady on his feet. 

 

“Where do you live?” Ryan asked once they were in his car. 

 

“On tenth and Cutter,” he mumbled, leaning against the window. 

 

“What’s the address?” 

 

He was looking forward so he didn’t see Shane lean toward the dash before throwing up every bit of water, hash, eggs, and, based on the smell, vodka that was in his stomach. 

 

“Jesus Christ!” Ryan cried when he looked over and saw Shane unloading his stomach all over his car. 

 

“Sorry,” Shane managed to say between retches and he did sound truly sorry, but that wasn’t making Ryan feel any better about his car being covered in vomit. 

 

Shane leaned back on the seat and promptly fell asleep. 

 

“Okay, fuck this,” he muttered to himself as he turned toward his own apartment. Shane could sleep on his couch as long as it meant Ryan had to spend less time in the car. 

 

They arrived quickly and Ryan went around to the passenger side and opened the door for him. “Shane, you gotta wake up, I can’t carry you.”

 

He whined but moved and got out of the car. Ryan put his arm around Shane’s waist and kept him steady as he helped him inside and to lay down on the sofa. “Do you think you’re gonna throw up again?”

 

“Probably,” he sounded on the edge of tears and Ryan sighed.

 

“Don’t be upset, buddy.” He moved his trash can next to the sofa. “Just go to sleep and use the trash can if you wanna throw up. I’m going the fuck to bed.” 

 

“Thanks, Bryan.”

 

—

 

Ryan woke earlier in the morning than he usually did after his night shifts because he wanted to make sure Shane was okay. He walked out to the living room, surprised to see him sitting up and looking far better than he had the night before despite being obviously hungover. 

 

“Hey,” he said awkwardly. He didn’t know how much Shane would remember from the night before. 

 

Shane looked over at him, shame written all over his face. “I threw up in your car.”

 

Ryan chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, you did. It was pretty bad.”

 

“I don’t know if I’ll ever eat hash and eggs again.”

 

“That’s a shame, it seemed like you’re a big hash head.”

 

Shane laughed a little, “I guess I was a hash head. I’m sorry about your car though, I wanna have it cleaned for you.”

 

“I would really appreciate that.”

 

“Want me to take it? I won’t make you get in the car with it like that.”

 

“Promise not to steal my car?”

 

“I promise. I owe you big time for last night. I was a mess, Bryan.”

 

“It’s actually Ryan.”

 

Shane groaned and shook his head, obviously embarrassed by his past actions. 

 

He handed Shane his keys. “If you’re not back in an hour I’ll call 911.”

 

“That’s fair,” he chuckled. 

 

—

 

Thirty minutes later Shane knocked on Ryan’s door and handed him his keys. “Cleaned inside and out and detailed. Smells minty fresh.”

 

“Thanks,” he said as he took his keys back. 

 

They stood at the door awkwardly for a moment. 

 

“So I know I made a mess of everything last night, but... I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me tonight?”

 

“Let me get this straight. You come to IHOP at 1am, call me Bryan all night, fall asleep on the floor under your table, throw up in my car, sleep on my couch, then ask me out?”

 

“That’s... accurate,” he mumbled. “You were really nice and you didn’t have to be, my own friends left me to fend for myself, and I ended up at an IHOP. Someone could have killed me and I wouldn’t have even realized with how drunk I was. But you kept me safe. I like that about you and I’d like to get to know you more.” 

 

Ryan smiled softly, “pick me up at 7.”

 

“Really?” He perked up, grinning. 

 

“Yeah, I’d like to know you more, too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This project will hopefully have an update everyday as I go through my albums alphabetically (I currently own 74). It won't always be the same ship or fandom and each can be read independently.
> 
> HUGE thanks to my bff Dean for writing the lyrics down when I couldn't understand them.


End file.
